Mark + Lianna are part of “Sex Talk in the City”!

Mark + Lianna are part of “Sex Talk in the City”!

Mark + Lianna in front of their “Drawer” at the Museum of Vancouver’s new exhibit, Sex Talk in The City. Thanks to @maurice for the photo! Mark + Lianna’s experiences with their open relationship are explored in the exhibit’s Wall of Drawers, where visitors cannot help but feel like a kid snooping in their parents’ room as they make their way along the wall, wondering what kind of secrets await as they furtively peak within. Three quotes from Mark’s play, “Bi, Hung, Fit and Married” are part of the Quote Wall, which greets visitors as they enter the exhibit space,…

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“Which personal pronouns do you prefer?”

“Which personal pronouns do you prefer?”

“Which personal pronouns do you prefer?” I was caught off-guard the first time I was asked that question. I quickly had to remind myself what a personal pronoun was, and then I wondered if I’d missed something. “Ahhh… the usual.” I said with a slight smile, partly out of embarrassment, and partly because it sounded so over-the-top silly! “OK. So he, him, that kind of thing?” the interviewer, a person who identified as “male”, asked me. “Yeah. That’s fine.” Granted I was being interviewed as a potential volunteer for a queer resource centre, but still…. Had things really gone this…

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Commentary: A Million First Dates: How online romance is threatening monogamy

There has been a lot of talk about the recent article published in “The Atlantic”, entitled “A Million First Dates: How online romance is threatening monogamy“, by Dan Slater. The article, like society itself, is rife with all kinds of erroneous, half-baked assumptions about monogamy, and relationships in general. “Mate scarcity also plays an important role in people’s relationship decisions. ‘Look, if I lived in Iowa, I’d be married with four children by now,’ says Blatt, a 40‑something bachelor in Manhattan. ‘That’s just how it is.’” Thank you Mr. Blatt. The premise is that online dating makes it so easy…

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Finnish film, “Steam of Life”: simple, powerful, revealing, refreshing

I went to see the Finnish documentary last night, “Steam of Life”. http://www.nordiskfilmogtvfond.com/index.php?ptid=3&sid=92 It was very moving. Men sharing their deepest emotional experiences with other men, or sometimes just the camera, in a sauna. The film is beautifully shot, highlighting the stark Finnish landscape – and apparently the Finnish obsession with saunas. There was an old car in the middle of a field which had been turned into a sauna; a camper trailer; a telephone booth; a tee-pee, and then the standard saunas in houses and backyards. Every city and town seems to have a sauna, and everyone can afford…

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James Bond is Bisexual!

It was with a loud holler that I welcomed the news that James Bond is bisexual – or at least man enough to allude to the possibility. During the “torture” scene with Raoul Silva, Bond is subjected to Silva’s sensual touch. “There’s always a first time.” says Silva, as he asserts that there was nothing in Bond’s training to cover being confronted by the touch of another man. To which Bond replies, “What makes you think this is my first time.” WAHOOO!!! James Bond stating he may have had sexual relations with another man – without blinking an eye! People,…

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I’ve been asked to mention the pitfalls of opening up a relationship

I recently had a conversation with a woman who had attended my workshop on open relationships. She said she was bursting during the workshop, wanting to interrupt me while I sang the virtues of opening up. She wanted to let everyone know how difficult it is and how many couples simply fall apart during the process. My own experience with opening up has been all positive – and overwhelmingly so, which is how I approach the subject: it saved our marriage. We both felt liberated, which was a welcomed relief. We began to appreciate each other again. Knowing that someone…

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Open Relationships Acknowledge Our Multidimensionality

We used to believe that once a person became an adult and got married (something all people wanted to do), that was it. The process of “becoming” had ended, and now the rest of one’s life was about simply continuing on as a completed self. Women became mothers and wives; men became fathers and husbands. They grew old as such and died surrounded by a large, loving family. These ideas no longer work for us – and probably never have. We are now more willing to acknowledge that the process of “Individuation” – of becoming – continues on. For those…

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Another bisexual man comes out to his wife….

Another man comes out to his wife about being bisexual

It’s been nearly five years since I drove my wife up to the top of a local mountain, parked on the side of the deserted road, and told her I am bisexual and that I’d been “experimenting” with men behind her back. (Read “Confessions of a Bisexual Husband” for the complete story!) I figured she’d freak out when she heard, running and screaming from me – although she’d never done anything like that before. By driving her up to the top of a mountain I knew there’d be nowhere for her to run, and no one to hear her scream.…

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“Bi, Hung, Fit… and Married” receives Rave Reviews!

I’d like to thank everyone who came out to see “Bi, Hung, Fit… and Married”. The play opened to rave reviews at Vancouver Weekly, Plank Magazine, and on our Facebook page. Please go to www.bihungfit.com for more information and updates. We’re now considering next steps for the show. The book is still looking for a publisher!

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The Importance of Sexual Freedom and Growth

Our sexuality must remain fluid and open throughout our lives. Sexuality is an integral part of our personality. It is not simply a “nice to have”, a pleasurable adjunct – or something to be denied. Sexuality is a valid, central aspect of who we are as individuals. If it is not allowed to expand and grow, the entire personality is affected. This is especially true in long-term, monogamous relationships, where there is a strong belief that once we marry or commit, we are locked down, our sexual selves closed and contained within the couple. Because of intense social conditioning, most…

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Opening a Long Term Relationship

Now the weird thing is, the really counter-intuitive thing, the thing that really fucks with your head, is that when you do start switching it up, you don’t turn away from your partner, happy to leave them behind, but rather you begin to remember them, and turn toward them again, possibly for the first time in years. It’s at this point that you remember what it is that attracted you to them in the first place. You begin to remember how good they feel, how hot they can be. You begin to remember how you looked at her before she…

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