“Bi, Hung, Fit... and Married” was Mark Bentley Cohen's risqué, autobiographical one-man show, which was based upon his book, Confessions of a Bisexual Husband. Both were about a couple's journey of self-discovery as they opened their ailing 15-year monogamous marriage to explore evolving emotional and sexual needs beyond monogamy.
BHF+M was performed by Mark across the continent from 2012 - 2015. Mark performed the show at such notable events as the BECAUSE Conference – the largest bisexuality conference on earth, as well as the International Conference on the Future of Monogamy and Non-Monogamy, at the University of California, Berkeley, the Queer Arts Festival in Vancouver, BC, and many others.
The show challenged the fundamental social principles of marriage, monogamy, fidelity, and the need for new relationship paradigms.
BHF+M broke open the idea of male bisexuality, the validity of which was (and I daresay still is) heavily challenged at the time.
Performances were followed by Question and Answer sessions and open discussions between the audience and the couple. Encouraged by the openness and personal nature of the play, many people revealed long-held, and little-known secrets about their own lives and experiences with bisexuality and non-monogamy.
The show resulted in many being emboldened to come out, and come to terms with their own sexual selves. One man brought his girlfriend to the show as a way of opening up the dialogue about his own bisexuality, and desire for non-monogamy!
With the ending of Mark’s marriage came the ending of the show in 2016. The final 7 years of Mark’s 23 year marriage were spent exploring and growing and expanding in ways beyond which either he or Lianna could have ever imagined.
Reviews
Stage Buddy - NYC
"Mark Bentley Cohen's one-man show Bi, Hung, Fit… and Married takes the audience on a raucously funny, heartfelt and erotic ride ... Electric and engaging, Cohen delivers a captivating performance and commands the stage with gusto. ... You don't have to be bi, hung, fit or married to appreciate this humanistic tale about what it really means to truly love yourself and others."
Stephanie Rodriguez
Culture Catch - NYC
"A show like this depends on as great storyteller for success, and Mark Bentley Cohen is a great storyteller. Clad in a simple white t-shirt and jeans, he holds the mostly empty stage, and the audience's attention, with assurance."
Dr. Richards and Dr. Ziegler
New York Theater Now - NYC
"Go see the show with an open mind, and perhaps learn a new way to get along with someone important in your life."
Ed Malin
Plank Magazine
"Bi, Hung, Fit... and Married" - Intimate in Every Way
"The script is taut, well-paced and above all honest, which makes it such a sexy show.... Heed the sexual content warning and go see this show with a loved one, preferably an 18+ loved one with whom you wouldn't mind going home."
Vancouver Weekly
"The Vancouver International Fringe Festival's Bi, Hung, Fit and Married is a raw, honest, tell-all account of a bisexual man's ailing marriage, sexual escapades and the lengths he goes to in order to rediscover love. .. The well-written monologue is funny and provocative..."
Audience Feedback
I saw your show on Monday evening and just wanted to thank you. It was brave, inspiring, and affirming. As a bi guy I identified with so much of it. It has taken me a long time to come out to myself so I was in awe of your self-confidence. Your honesty was truly inspiring. Thank you for sharing your journey with us in New York.
Patrick, NYC
Thank you so much for putting into words things I only felt before but could not express, and for helping me through a difficult period in my life.
Mitch, NYC
This was a most remarkable production, and I whole-heartedly recommend it to anyone with an interest in exploring the complexities, contradictions, and subtleties of contemporary marriages and relationships."
Dave Doleshal, Ph.D., UC Berkeley
"This may be the only piece of true theatre I've seen in 15 years in Vancouver. Remarkable, thought-provoking, psyche stretching.... Go see it!"
Jeffery - Film Director/Writer/Producer
"My girlfriend has known I was bi since we started dating. She was one of the first women I dated after confirming that I was bi. We hadn't really figured out what that meant to our relationship and had both avoided the discussion until recently. Your show was the start of that discussion...."
Kevin, Vancouver, BC
"Crystal and I loved the show! Program notes are right: raw, edgy, boundary pushing, belief stretching ... add honest and provocative and a conversation stimulant."
Gail - former Board member Edmonton Fringe Festival
"Thanks Mark and Lian...really enjoyed your show and the talk after tonight. There are many scenes of the play touched me... the opening up, the marriage prison, the explorations...Wonderful show. Look forward to seeing the book soon."
Adam - former journalist from China
A big thanks to Dave Doleshal, Ph.D., UC Berkeley, who organized the International Conference on the Future of Monogamy and Nonmonogamy at the University of California, Berkeley, February, 2014.
Dave booked Mark to perform "BHF+M" as part of the conference, which was comprised of a diverse group of academics and researchers from all over the world who presented psychological research, sociological surveys, sociocultural studies relating to monogamy and nonmonogamy. The conference was well-attended, and "BHF+M" turned out to be a big hit with this crowd of people well-versed in the dynamics of polyamory, open marriages, and other forms of consensual non-monogamy.
Here's what Dave Doleshal, Ph.D., UC Berkeley had to say about the show:
"Several members remarked that it was almost as if the actor was giving voice to many things a high percentage of the audience had felt at some point in their lives, but had difficulty articulating. One audience member said, 'It was like he was reading what was in my heart, and speaking out loud all those things I was never able to say.'This was a most remarkable production, and I whole-heartedly recommend it to anyone with an interest in exploring the complexities, contradictions, and subtleties of contemporary marriages and relationships."
Pierre-Yves Wauthier, Belgian Anthropologist
I take the opportunity here to congratulate (the both of) you for your play, once again. The beauty I see in the play is how you tell, with humanity and sensitivity, the inner process of passing from one world (the mono paradigm) to the other (the poly paradigm). I imagine it can be hardly audible to non poly people (due to the taboo it shakes), however, I found it ‘true’ (sincere) and talkative. I was moved by the play and I’m convinced it will resonate into many others poly hearts here in France (and Belgium and Switzerland), just as it might do in Quebec.
Cookie Kristina Bain, Sexual Health Educator in Vancouver Canada
I nearly jumped up and gave you a big hug after your performance. That was an absolutely spectacular performance! I just can’t get over how excited I am to have met you both! You were the highlight of the conference to me, the best part was how unexpected it was, and bonus, from Vancouver!
Marton, New Jerseyy
We met at the Non monogamy conference in California and your play was one of the greatest theater experience I had during the last couple years! I’ll read your book and hope that brings me closer to understand your life….
Interviews
The EDGE Network
"The mission of his show, Cohen says, is to further the notion that "Humans are a lot more flexible and transformational than we as a culture allow. Modern relationships have to transform to allow for this fluidity. There are more single adults in the US now than any time in history. The vast majority of us do not participate in that (monogamous marriages). We are not broken, it's the narrative that is broken-the assumption being that any relationship that is not a lifelong one is a failure. Where did we get this idea?"
Scott Stiffler
OUT Magazine
"I knew there were other people out there, like me-like us-having relationship issues, sexual identity issues, issues that didn't seem to be workable within monogamy; however, without the requirement of monogamy these issues are very workable within a relationship. So, that's really the main motivation for writing and performing this piece.' states Cohen."
David Clarke
Past Performances
2015 – May, Club 8x6, Vancouver
2015 – February, Frigid New York, New York City
2014 – June, the BECAUSE Conference, Minneapolis, Minnesota
2014 – February, The International Conference on the Future of Monogamy and Nonmonogamy in UC Berkeley, CA
2013 – September, Seattle Fringe Festival
2013 – August, Vancouver Queer Arts Festival, Vancouver, BC, Canada
2013 – March, Fundraiser for Qmunity in co-production with the frank theatre company, Vancouver, BC, Canada
2012 – September, Vancouver International Fringe Festival, Vancouver, BC, Canada
Interview With Mark
Audience Reactions